I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
