I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Randomize