normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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