i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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