his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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