a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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