i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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