And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize