im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
