im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
