No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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