stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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