not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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