Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
The feeling are messing with the penis
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
