There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
