PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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