Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
there is glitter all over my balls
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