I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Randomize
