are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I would ride that face into the sunset
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
