I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
