do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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