His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
It's never too late to be topless.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Randomize
