He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
