I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
