I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize