I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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