# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
