thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
