I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
