I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
