I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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