She went from zero to smokin in five shots
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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