"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
