HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
