This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
