"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Randomize
