Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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