thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize