sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
