Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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