I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
