i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Green mimosas i think yes
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
