I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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