worst night to have a conscience
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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