i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
