can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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