This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
It's shark week go big or go home
Randomize
