Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
