is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
