i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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