he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
