the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
