Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
