found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
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