Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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