All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
