So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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