he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
