whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Holy shit dude........stairs
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