we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
We have started to decorate penises.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
