Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Randomize
