Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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