so that wasnt chicken after all
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
