My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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