I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
