That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
