Fuck appropriateness.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
