I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
