I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
