i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
